Yes, there has been movement, but is it enough to get me excited and hopeful that this adoption will actually end with a beautiful baby (or an ugly one...either way, we will still love it) in our arms? Not so much. Why can I not bring myself to feel excited? Because two years is too long to hold your breath. That's why.
At my husband's insistence, I read a short story today by Dostoevsky called "The Dream of a Ridiculous Man," and I can tell you that it was, indeed, ridiculous. Don't ever read that. But once again, I digress. The point of this story was that you can either accept that life holds mostly suffering, and in order to survive, you must learn how to turn that suffering into love, or you can shoot yourself in the head with a pistol. And it's the suffering of a little girl whose mother is dying that saves the ridiculous man's life because it makes him realize he has a choice to express love in the midst of suffering. He puts the pistol down and chooses not to shoot himself.
What a horrible story. But anyhow, I feel like I am at a similar crossroads. I can either shoot myself in the head, or I can accept this suffering and try to turn it into something good. I just wish I knew how to do that.
