Sweets, sardines and kitties

My sweet tooth has taken over lately and forced me to make french toast from my homemade challah bread, my grandmother's old date&nut pinwheel cookies, etc. I also love sardines and could eat them like popcorn, and my kitty comes out to see where the fish smell is coming from when I pop the can. I'm just trying to find ways to detract my attention from the fact that we have STILL not received our final home study to submit with our dossier. How much longer must we wait to get on the wait list? Only more waiting will tell....

Rustic Bosc Pear Tart

I found this recipe on The Food Network's website. I bought Bosc pears at the Farmer's Market for Thanksgiving and wanted to make some type of tart with them. I brought it to my family's house for Thanksgiving dinner, and I was very pleased with the results. The only thing I changed is the type of flour. I didn't have wheat flour, so I just used regular white flour. It still looked rustic enough, though!

Crust:
1/2 cup whole-grain pastry flour or regular whole wheat flour
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons granulated sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons cold, unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
2 tablespoons lowfat buttermilk
3 tablespoons ice water

Filling:
3 medium pears
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon cornstarch
3 tablespoons light brown sugar
1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Glaze:
1 teaspoon honey
1/4 teaspoon boiling water

Directions:
To prepare the crust, in a medium bowl whisk together the whole-wheat pastry flour, all- purpose flour, granulated sugar and salt. Add the butter and using two knives or a pastry cutter, cut the butter into the flour mixture until you get a pebbly, course texture. In a small bowl combine the buttermilk and ice water. Using a fork, gradually mix the buttermilk mixture into the flour mixture. Pat the dough into a 4-inch round and wrap in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.


In the meantime, preheat the oven to 425 degrees F, and prepare the filling. Peel the pears, core them and cut into 1/4-inch slices. In a large bowl toss the pear slices with the lemon juice. Sprinkle in the cornstarch, brown sugar and cinnamon and toss until the pears are evenly coated. Set aside.


On a lightly floured surface, roll the chilled dough into a large circle about 9 inches in diameter. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, and draping the dough over the rolling pin, transfer to the prepared baking sheet. If the dough breaks at all patch it up with your fingers.


Arrange the pears in a mound in the center of the dough, leaving a 2-inch border. Fold the border over the filling. It will only cover the pears partially and does not need to be even.


Bake the tart for 15 minutes, and then reduce the oven temperature to 350 degrees F, keeping the tart in the oven all the while, and bake for another 40 minutes, until the pears are tender and the crust is golden brown.


In a small bowl stir together the honey and boiling water to make a glaze. When the tart is done remove it from the oven and brush the honey glaze all over the top of the fruit and crust. Transfer to a plate to cool slightly. Cut into 6 wedges and serve warm or a room temperature.

Almond biscotti

I got this recipe off the Interweb, and it worked just fine. Thanks to myrecipes.com! I never knew that biscotti means twice cooked in Italian until my husband told me, and I felt very silly and embarrassed. But then I made the biscotti and they were delicious, so I didn't feel so silly anymore. These go well with a hot cup of coffee or tea and are also perfect for Christmas cookie exchanges since they don't really go stale!

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup almonds, chopped and toasted
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon almond extract
1/4 teaspoon anise extract
2 eggs
1 egg white
Vegetable cooking spray

Preparation
Combine first 5 ingredients in a large bowl. Combine vanilla and next 3 ingredients; add to flour mixture, stirring until well-blended (dough will be dry).

Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface, and knead lightly 7 or 8 times. Shape dough into a 16-inch-long roll. Place roll on a baking sheet coated with cooking spray, and flatten roll to 1-inch thickness.

Bake at 350° for 30 minutes. Remove roll from baking sheet to a wire rack, and let cool 10 minutes. Cut roll diagonally into 30 (1/2-inch) slices, and place, cut sides down, on baking sheet. Reduce oven temperature to 325°, and bake 10 minutes. Turn cookies over, and bake an additional 10 minutes (cookies will be slightly soft in center but will harden as they cool). Remove from baking sheet; let cool completely on wire rack.

Tilapia "en papillote" with couscous and steamed vegetables

Here is another recipe I made up and is so easy to make; it literally takes five minutes to prepare and 15 minutes to cook. Take that, Rachel Ray!

"En papillote" means wrapped in paper in French, and that is how the fish is baked. You take squares of parchment paper (make sure it's parchment paper!) and place a fillet of fish and vegetables julienne (French word for ribbon cut) and create a cute little pouch so that the fish and veggies are steamed inside the pouch in the oven. This is a marvelous way to retain the moisture in the fish, and the juices flavor the veggies, too.

Ingredients for 4 servings:

4 small fillets of tilapia
1 zucchini cut into very thin ribbon slices - julienne
1/2 yellow onion cut julienne
1/2 red bell pepper cut julienne
4 thin slices of a lemon
olive oil
salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to 375 F.
Place four parchment sheets on your counter and drizzle a tiny bit of olive oil in the center of each sheet. Next place your fillets over the oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Evenly divide all the cut vegetables amongst the four fillets and lay them over the fish. Top each pile with a slice of lemon and then drizzle a tiny bit of olive oil over each. Then fold into pouches as best you can, making sure they are tightly wrapped. Bake in the oven for 15 minutes on a cookie sheet. While the pouches are baking, make some couscous over the stovetop, and you've got a light and nutritious meal in 20 minutes!

Curried vegetable soup with Challah bread

Last week, on a rainy wintery day, Daniel and I were doing our Christmas shopping downtown after Farmer's Market. We walked by Nonni's, a European bistro on Main Street, and the chef was outside serving little cups of soup to passersby. This soup was amazing with creamy, tangy, rich flavors. I asked the chef what the ingredients were, and he foolishly told me. So now I'm improvising this recipe, trying to chase the dream of recreating those heavenly aromas of curry and butternut. I also made three loaves of Challah bread, and they were divine. Here goes:

1 small butternut squash, peeled and cubed (I steamed the squash first, then scooped out the softened meat)
2 sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed
2 carrots, peeled and chopped
2 leeks, washed and chopped
1 onion, diced
2 garlic cloves, mashed and coarsely chopped
1 lemon, juiced
6 cups of chicken broth
1 tablespoon of curry powder
1/2 cup of coconut milk
2 tablespoons of olive oil
salt and pepper to taste

Sautee the onion, leeks and garlic with the olive oil for a few minutes. Next add the broth, squash, carrots, sweet potatoes and bring to a very soft boil over medium-high heat for about 20 to 25 minutes. When all the vegetables are soft and can be broken up with a fork, add the coconut milk and curry powder. In batches, puree the soup until smooth in texture. Let simmer for another 20 minutes. Add lemon juice, salt and pepper to taste, and serve with a spinach salad and warm bread. Delicious!

Greek orzo salad

Bring this quick and easy pasta salad to your next potluck holiday party, and you will be on everyone's Christmas list this year! It's from Bon Appetit, October 1997

Ingredients:

12 ounces orzo (rice-shaped pasta)
2 tablespoons plus 1/2 cup olive oil
1 1/2 cups crumbled seasoned feta cheese (such as basil and tomato; about 6 ounces)
1 cup chopped red bell pepper (my dad can't eat bell pepper, so sometimes I substitute with cherry tomatoes and cucumbers...)
1 cup chopped yellow bell pepper
3/4 cup pitted Kalamata olives
4 green onions, chopped
2 tablespoons drained capers
3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon white wine vinegar
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 1/2 teaspoons dried oregano
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon ground cumin
3 tablespoons pine nuts, toasted

Preparation:

Cook orzo in large pot of boiling salted water until tender but still firm to bite. Drain. Rinse with cold water; drain well. Transfer to large bowl. Toss with 2 tablespoons olive oil. Add crumbled feta cheese, chopped bell peppers, Kalamata olives, green onions and capers.

Combine lemon juice, vinegar, garlic, oregano, mustard and cumin in small bowl. Gradually whisk in remaining 1/2 cup olive oil. Season dressing to taste with salt and pepper.

Add dressing to orzo mixture and toss to blend. Season to taste with salt and pepper. (Can be prepared 6 hours ahead. Cover and refrigerate.)

Garnish salad with pine nuts; serve.

Roasted Bosc pears with pomegranate glaze

This recipe I found in a Bon Appetit from 2004. It was a gourmet-looking dessert that was very simple and delicious.

Ingredients:

3/4 cup dry red wine, such as Syrah or Zinfandel
3/4 cup pomegranate juice
1/2 cup sugar
1 cinnamon stick
2 teaspoons grated orange peel
6 Bosc pears with stems, peeled
Vanilla ice cream
Purchased biscotti

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350°F. Stir wine, pomegranate juice, sugar, cinnamon stick, and orange peel in medium saucepan over medium heat until sugar dissolves, about 3 minutes.

Using small melon baller, core pears from bottom of wide end. Trim bottoms flat and stand upright in 8x8x2-inch baking dish. Pour pomegranate-wine sauce over pears. Roast pears until tender when pierced with knife, basting pears with sauce every 20 minutes, about 1 hour. Using spatula, transfer roasted pears to serving platter. Transfer pan juices to small saucepan. Simmer until reduced to 2/3 cup, about 5 minutes. (Can be made 4 hours ahead. Let sauce and pears stand at room temperature. Rewarm sauce before continuing.)

Spoon glaze over pears. Serve warm or at room temperature with vanilla ice cream and biscotti.

For the meat lovers

My stepmom keeps asking me for my meatloaf recipe, so this post is for her. I have been told by many people who don't like meatloaf that my meatloaf is the most delicious things they have ever tasted. And I do believe it's true. I could eat an entire loaf myself every day of the week forever! My secret is that I cook it in a crockpot.

Ingredients for Erin's famous MEATLOAF:

1/2 pound ground pork
1/2 pound ground beef (on the leaner side, 97%)
1 cup of breadcrumbs
2 eggs
2 cups of steamed vegetables and finely chopped (I use carrots, broccoli, chard and/or kale)
1 yellow onion diced
3 garlic cloves run through a garlic press
Handful of fresh parsley, chopped
salt & pepper
1 finely chopped tomato
1 can or bottle of tomato sauce (and don't skimp! make it the goodstuff)
1 cup of parmesan cheese

Mix all the ingredients together EXCEPT the tomato sauce. Just add 2 tablespoons of sauce to the mix and reserve the rest for later. Form your loaf after fully mixing. Take the sauce and pour some into the crockpot before you place the loaf into the crockpot. Next move the loaf into the crockpot and pour the rest of the sauce over the loaf. Cook on low heat for about 8 hours. If you are in a time pinch, you can cook it for 1 or 2 hours on high and then switch to low for 2 more hours. But trust me, the low for 8 hours is better! Whip yourself up some mashed potatoes and steam some veggies. Lift the loaf out of the crockpot carefully, trying not to break it, and place on a serving dish to slice up. You can make a gravy out of the liquid left in the crockpot by making a roux first and then adding the liquid over the stove for about 10 minutes. Enjoy!

BEEF EMPANADAS CRIOLLAS:

I also get lots of compliments on my empanadas, so here goes.

Ingredients:

1 pound of 93% lean ground beef
1 cup of sliced green olives
1 cup of chopped boiled eggs
1 cup of chopped boiled potatoes
1/2 cup of raisins
1/2 cup of sugar
1/2 cube of butter (this recipe is not for the weak-vesseled)
1 yellow onion diced
salt and pepper
1 package of 20 empanada dough for baking, NOT for frying (you can get these at Mexican markets, especially in the Mission in S.F., or you can make your own masa. If you want the recipe for that, just ask me!)

Heat up 1 tablespoon of butter in a large pan over the stove. Add your diced onion and the ground beef. Stir until the onion and beef are cooked. Slice up the rest of the butter and add to the mix in slices. Once melted, add the sugar. Then add the rest of the ingredients and mix well. Preheat oven to 375. Take the slices of dough and fill one at a time with about 2 tablespoons of filling and seal the dough.

(With each kind of empanada filling, you are supposed to seal the empanada with a different design so that you can tell them apart when throwing a party and serving several different kinds. So Empanadas Criollas are folded like in my photo. Empanadas Arabes are folded in a triangle. Empanadas Pachamama are folded in yet another way.)

Place the empanadas on oiled cookie sheets and bake for about 20 minutes or until the dough has lightly browned. Let cool, and enjoy!!

Goodbye, Facebook!

It was a difficult decision, but at the behest of my husband, I deactivated my Facebook recently. Every time I go on Facebook and see posts of a new pregnancy announcement, a new preggo belly pic and some newborn of a wife of a friend of Daniel (there have been several this month), I cry. I want to stop crying. I'm tired of it. Losing Facebook is a step towards stopping the crying, I think.

So hurray to not being pregnant! Ugh. Instead I need to check on Daniel's two clearances from Illinois and Pennsylvania that have STILL not come back after a month of waiting. I also needed to get an HIV test last week, after I was told repeatedly that the HIV test was optional. Well, it wasn't! I also spent some time during the home study interview explaining to the social worker some uncomfortable background history with my mom. I kept thinking, this does not mean that I will be a bad parent, and why are we even talking about this? It was so long ago!!! Shouldn't we be talking about how wonderful I am and how I want a baby more than anything in this world and will fly all the way to Ethiopia twice to get it?? Why don't they ask people before they have sex whether THEY have had any history of abuse in their families? Another funny question: Have you ever committed a crime which, at the time you committed it, you were not aware that it was a crime but now know it was a crime, and you may not have ever been convicted for it? What? My head is spinning.

So the home study went okay other than that, and our social worker is getting it written over the next two weeks. So the things we are missing from our dossier are: DANIEL'S CLEARANCES, HIV TEST RESULTS, COMPLETION OF OUR 10TH PARENTING CLASS on December 14th. As soon as those are squared away, we can turn it in, get it approved, and get on a wait list.

On another note, I finished two quilts recently: One for Kate and another for me. I've also been cooking a lot lately and will post some recipes soon.

What did I make last night? Not a baby....

Well, since nobody reads this blog, I thought I may as well make it a journal so that I can get rid of some of this emotional baggage I've been carrying around. I've been feeling so down lately. The past two years have been a tear-filled blur. Infertility treatments and drugs, two miscarriages, a diagnosis of premature ovarian failure, discovering that Daniel and I will never have our own baby...it's been rough. And watching everyone around me get pregnant, people that were married after Daniel and I were, people that already have two, three children, people who don't even want to have a baby, getting pregnant at the drop of a hat.

Nobody I talk to about my infertility seems to understand why I feel so sad. I get the most annoyingly rude and insensitive comments, like "This is all happening for a reason," or "you can always adopt" or "you can have one of my kids if you want" or "are you sure you can't get pregnant? You should try to relax!" or "just get drunk, and you'll get pregnant" (this is a comment I got from my phlebotomist when she was drawing blood the day I started miscarrying so that the doctor could check my hormone levels to see if I needed a D&C).

I'm so tired of this. I feel like I'm being punished, but I don't know what for. Adoption or an egg donor. These are our two options. And since IVF is never a sure thing and costs just as much as adoption, we are opting for adoption. I should be excited about adopting, shouldn't I? But how can I be when it takes twice as long as a pregnancy, is tens of thousands of dollars more expensive, and is ten times more invasive than buying a home, getting audited, or trying to get into the FBI. Example: Daniel and I spent $240 yesterday getting 24 signatures notarized for an adoption agency. And that was just for the contract! I have a feeling I'll be making good friends with the Iranian notary down the street from my house over the next two years.

I'm also so very tired of women saying that you never know anything about life until you've had your own child. Really? Really??? So does that mean that Mother Theresa, the Dalai Lama, Pope John Paul and possibly Jesus Christ didn't know jack-sh*t about life? Come on now, ladies. Please take your feet out of your mouths because I've had enough. That may be true for you, but when you say things like that to an infertile woman, it makes her want to blow her brains out with the closest gun in sight. Unfortunately, the closest gun in my sight is my husband's Nerf shotgun that shoots foam bullets with purple suction rings on the end. So don't say these silly things in front of me, or I will be forced to walk around with a Nerf bullet stuck to my forehead!

Anyway, for anyone who is interested, our garden is totally dead, except for tomatoes and canteloupe, since fall is here. We need to plant our winter stuff this week....